Saturday, October 22, 2011

Calamity reigns unchecked

Hello people,
I am sick of cancer.  Living with it as a metastasis is not groovy.  Then there is the case of knowing so many people with it.  Right now, my wonderful husband, who also lives with chronic lymphosytic leukemia, is watching his father slip from the life because of cancer.  So, I looked for a different word for cancer, since I am sick of it.  It came up with these words as synonyms: affliction, bane, burden, calamity, cross, disaster, evil, jinx, ordeal, pestilence, plague, scourge, torment, tribulation, trouble, vexation.

Those words are all so descriptive.  They all make me think of other things than cancer.  Calamity seems to fit because it causes all sorts of secondary stuff that is calamity.  Watching all the things that are happening to Kamel ( My sweet husbands dad) it is calamity, and chaos.  It is stress, and frustration.  It is tears, and prayers, and waiting.  The past week I have watched a beautiful, calm, sweet woman, my sister in law Linda, have calamity rain down on her because of cancer.  I hate cancer.  She is working with her siblings making final arrangements, taking care of her Dad in the most gentle and loving manner.  She is helping her mom prepare for the inevitable in every way possible.  She is setting such a great example for me for when I may need to care for aging relatives.  My husband and his sister Linda have blown my mind at how when calamity came, then took the calm from calamity and gently, peacefully walked along the path the day layed out before them.  Amazing people.  Such a blessing to be related to then and have them for friends.  I am trying to take the calm out of calamity too.

Having cancer that is terminal and watching someone leaving this world from it is scary for me.  It is a reminder of the future.  I am going to choose to look the the parts of the future that come long before that.  The parts where I am living life to the fullest.  Spending time with friends and loved ones.  Shopping, seeing movies, taking trips, camping. (yea you heard me, camping) decorating my new home in Colorado.  Playing with nieces and nephews.  Coloring with them.  (something every adult should do is color every day)  I will be doing everything I can to live, really live.  I will try new things, and not let fear hold me back.  You should try new things too.  Tell calamity to go to hell where it belongs, and Live.  Just like Linda and Mo are.



Trodelvy trial failed.