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Showing posts from April 14, 2013

Wishing I could turn back time.

Hello people,

I wish I had a more optimistic feeling post to write tonight. Unfortunately today I feel utterly horrible. It is day three of post chemo, with a bitch slap. I feel down physically and emotionally. Having just "celebrated" my two year cancerversary, I should just be so thrilled to be alive. Instead I find myself wishing I could turn back time and become who I used to be. An active, fit, woman. Two years of feeling ill has left me battle weary. I'm tired of feeling sick and tired. I've recently taken a job and it is so so much more physically demanding than I had thought it would be. I get it now. When I told my oncologist I was working at target, he said " good for you, that won't last long" Now I get it. He knew what I had to experience. It is just a matter of coming to terms with the fact that I am a terminally ill person who needs to take better care of myself. It is just so difficult. I really want to please people and …