Lymphatic massage, and weird latex allergy on my arm.

Hello my friends,

Boy has this been a crazy, and busy week. First off, I spent a lot of time running to and from appointments for the physical therapist. Then I had this freaky rash on my arm from the bandage. So, for now, I am just dealing with the swelling in my arm by doing massage and arm exercises. I think it is starting to drain. But my hand is still super numb and very swollen. We also spent a bit of time exploring our turf here in Tennessee this past weekend. We drove through the hills looking for the exit for a state park called frozen head. We took a wrong turn and got sort of trapped on a road that I strongly suspect was filled with backwood stills for hillbilly moonshiners. No, really, it wasn't quite like that. But it was extremely out of the way, and I will always remember the adventure of it. Also, we took a very long hike in the ijams nature center. It was a beautiful and awesome day. I can't even believe I walked as long and as far as I did. A year ago, I wouldn't have made it out of the parking lot! It was a memorable day! I'll share some photos here:

There is a lovely photo of my thumb! Have you ever done that? It is too funny not to share. The rest of the photos are my family, Sadie and Oscar, and the view along the hike on the boardwalk trail of the ijams nature center. One of my new favorite places here in Tn.

Below you will find a video of the steps my physical therapist walked me through to lymphatic massage:

Thank you for stopping by. It is so awesome that you stop by to view these videos, and read this blog. you guys are awesome and amazing!

Leslie

I feel so pretty, oh so pretty.

I say I feel pretty, but it is all very tongue in cheek. It is difficult to feel pretty when you have lost your hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. Plus being a one boobed bandit makes you feel oh sooooo attractive. Right now my hair is about 3 inches long. You can view a video of what I look like here at www.missditz-thebeautifullife.com
This is a link to my other site. One I started long before I had been diagnosed. You can follow some of the older videos to see my progress from being misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia through my actual diagnosis and some of my treatment. I took about 5 months off while being sick and moving across country and dealing with family issues.
Despite the fact that often cancer can leave you feeling unpretty. I have to say I am pretty happy to be alive. There is a song that I have beeh LOVING right now. It is sort of a theme song for my life. It's called afterlife by the band Switchfoot. There is a line in the lyric that says:

I've tasted fire, I'm ready to come alive.
I just can't shut it up and fake that I'm alright,
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the afterlife.

I really rock out when I listen to that song. To me it is all about living fully NOW when you're still alive. Not waiting for the afterlife. So, I may not be fully pretty, but I am fully alive. Making plans for the future, and living today. Just wanted to share that with you.



Thanks for stopping by,
Leslie

Keep your snake oil to yourself!

There is nothing that makes people happier, when they hear you're sick with cancer, than to tell you about their snake oil.  By snake oil, I mean miracle cures.  They have an aunt who had what you have, or what they imagine you have because they don't really want to know what you have.  So, they begin to talk over you and tell you about the miracle doctor in Mexico, or the 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide cure.  Say what!?  Or so many other crazy things that pretty much amount to the snake oil of old.  Today My amazing hubby had someone ( who it didn't come as a surprise to me) tell him about some miracle thing.  Boy did it make me mad.  Just from my end of the conversation it ticked me off.  The people who have no degree of any kind of medicine.  Or ever a degree of any kind.  They think they are so smart. GRRRRR!  I gave it some thought and decided that what I need is a statement.  Something that I can rattle off or train my beloved and my offspring to rattle off, on a moments notice.

How is this?

Thank you ever so much on your advice on how to become cured!  I am going to have to pass on hearing all the details.  I have decided, along with my family that I will rely on the uninformed advice of the so called experts who spent years and years wasting their time in the pursuit of scientific study at America's major medical institutions.


Well folks, what do you think?  I think it sounds just like me.  Having a statement prepared has made me feel so ready for the inevitable.  I think I will print it and keep a copy in my purse so that if I am put on the spot I will have my " statement" prepared.

Picking myself up and dusting myself off

Each day after a chemo I spend my time licking my wounds.  By that I mean, slowly I am recovering from all the chemicals coursing through my body.  I have my treatments 3 our of 4 Fridays a month.  On the days that follow, I feel fatigue, aches and pains, emotional highs and lows.  The fatigue starts slow and builds to a crescendo around day 3-4.  That is when I am at the most tired and sick feeling.  Because I eat a steady diet of anti nausea meds, I never really get sick to the point of throwing up.  But because of those meds I experience the side effects which are more fatigue!  Yay!  ( she said sarcastically) Up to day 4 I also have a lot of pains in all the areas that I have lesions from cancer.  Those are my bones in my right arm, both pelvic bones, and also my lungs and chest wall.  But the pain is mostly in my hips and arm.  So for the pain I take pain medicines, and those too make me fatigued and emotional.   Then after day 4 I stop taking the drugs.  The fatigue gets better and then on day 7 I start chemo again.  Oh what a wonderful roller coaster ride eh? 

Picking myself up isn't as simple as it sounds.    It is really  more of an emotion, physical and spiritual  thing that takes place.  It is kind of like turning myself inside out and then right side to.    First my body and soul physically get so down and tired that it makes me sad and quiet.  I find myself laying around a lot trying to get energy.  At the same time I want to be as normal as possible so emotionally I become sad that I want to lay around because I feel so sick.  So, I force myself to do normal stuff like empty the dishes and run laundry, go to the store with family, grocery shop and go to church.  That is one of the things that leads to a vicious cycle of being too tired and then not recovering from it.  After almost 4 months of chemo I have learned that it is okay to let people help and to rest a bit.  But I still make myself do stuff, so that that remainder of my life as a metastatic breast cancer patient is a full life.  It also helps me to not see myself as a breast cancer patient and as more of a person who has metastatic cancer but is living as normal of a life as possible.  When you have metastatic breast cancer or mets of any type, what is normal anymore though?

Chemo the day before

Most folks hear the word chemo and think it is something that you go in for and that's that.  It doesn't work quite like that.  Some folks take chemo by pill at home on a certain schedule.  Others go to an infusion room at a hospital or clinic.  They receive their treatment by IV.  This is how I get my chemo.  But it isn't just a day.  There is prep work.  For instance.  I have to take 5 steroids in the evening before.  This equals about 20 mg.  They make my heart beat fast, and often give me a headache.  Fun times!  No, really it is just an inconvenient necessity.  

So, today is Thursday.  The day before chemo.  I am anticipating having to take those steroids all day long.  Not with excitement mind you.  No, with dread.  But I will do it, because I have to. Tomorrow I will wake, eat something bland so I don't get sick later.  Then I will head off to the center.  Once there, they will draw my blood.  After they determine that my counts are within a range that is safe to have chemo, I will head back to the infusion room.  Lately I have been popping a couple Tylenol at this point to prevent getting a headache. If I get a headache during chemo I usually barf.  Then the chemo nurse hooks me up to premeds, which are more steroids and an anti-nausea medicine.  That takes about a half an hour.  Then one big gun chemo drug after another.  I take two drugs, Taxol and Avastin.  All of these thing happen between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m.  When I finish my wonderful husband takes me home, gives me something for nausea.  Then I pretty much lay around for the rest of the day feeling out of it and tired. 

That is what it is like the day before and the day of.  Just in case you are curious about what having mets breast cancer is like.