It seems as though I am always "counting". Medical counts that is. What are your tumor markers? What are your cbc counts? What does your urine look like? "Well....it's sort of yellow?????" Is that the right answer I wonder. Any way, it seems that everyone wants to keep track of my counts. That is pretty cool in a way, because it means that they truly want the in depth on how I am doing. It is kind of a bummer though, because it means I am usually giving them some sort of bad news. Most of the time my counts are low. Today they are. I had to have them done a few days early because of travel plans. It doesn't surprise me that they are all low, because once again I have the dread version of adult chicken pox. Shingles they are called. Don't worry, I am not contagious. Dang things. There is one splotch on my body te size of a coaster. Just enough of a presence to require antibiotics, more blankety blank steroids, and some amazing medicine to take for knocking me out so I don't itch.
In addition to all the medical counting, I count dates. What dates do I have appointments and who needs to know these appointments? I have to sync my calender with several people so that I don't miss out on stuff. I thank God for outlook. My pc is in for repair, so it is counting all these synced appointments without me. I have been a bit lost without it. Not only do I count "counts" and dates, but I am counting medicines too. I didn't think that I would have to take this much medicine till I was old and senile. But here I am at the ripe younish age of 45 making sure I take my medicines at the right time and in the right amount. Oh, don't get me wrong, I sound bitter, but I am not. Really it is much more a tone of sarcastic melancholy. It is what it is. Resistance is futile to quote my treckie friends. Acceptance is more than necessary when you have all this counting to do. So, I accept this counting challenge. Wishing I was more focused, and then I just count. 1,2,3.....
This is my personal journey of Living with metastatic breast cancer. My day to day life, and the things I encounter as I try to live normally, while battling terminal cancer.
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