Deeper shade of pale

Tomorrow is chemo.  How can it be that I have a chemo routine.  That just sounds wrong. Chemo and routine are two words that should never go together.  So anyhow, tomorrow is week two of m routine.  I just get the Taxol on the second week.  The first week and third week I get Taxol and Avastin.  Who knows how long I will get he avastin since it has lost FDA approval.  My doc assures me that I will receive it for as long as I had already been pre-approved treatments. 

When you are on chemo life can be so pale.  It looses its brightness and vibrancy.  This can be depressing.  It occurred to me that these moments where life is more pale are the times that we are going through "valleys"  The valley can be more pale, but we have to focus on the fact that it is something that we go Through.  Meaning that there is a beginning middle and end.  When you reach the end, you have  made it through from one side to the other.  So, while things are pale, I will be looking for the underlying colors, tones and textures.  There must be a deeper shade of pale that I should be noticing, learning from and embracing during all of this cancer.  What is it that I should be noticing?  For today I think that it is family.  My family are those hues that add dimension to the whole canvas of this valley.  My husband and best friend are all cool greens of comfort, soft red of consistent passion and the wash of soft yellow that warms me with steady supplies of love.  My daughter and son are the brush strokes of mellow orange that shows fierce protectiveness, the sparkling purple of respect and loyalty, and all of my family, friends, and extended love ones are  the sky blue that holds a banner over faithful love and deep community.  The bright colors of life are wonderful, but are more noticeable when they are surrounded by shades that are more pale and make them "pop".  I will let you know what the "picture"  looks like when I get through this valley to the other side

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