Some days are rougher than others.

Hello People, Are you all doing well? I sure hope so. Chances are if you have found your way to this page, you are researching metastatic breast cancer. Either you have gotten the unsettling news about yourself or about a loved one. I am sorry for what you must be going through right now. Some days are rougher than others. You will find beautiful moments. I promise. This week has been a rough one for me. I have this wonderful husband who sometimes has to travel. I can fend for myself quite well while he is away. But this week has been rough. Well this year has been rough. It has only been a bit over a year since I found out my diagnosis. Then we found out my father in law had cancer. We made a long and stressful move from Texas to Colorado. We lost Kamel to the evil that cancer is. Truth be told I really don't like living here in Colorado. I grew up here so I knew about the cold weather that lasts from October till May. It is a whole lot worse dealing with it when your bones have cancer in them. Back to this week though. Mo was traveling. I had chemo. My dog Biscuit passed away just before he left town.
I felt a bit overwhelmed. Thankfully I had a lot of time with my daughter and the new puppy Sadie.
That really helped. It was one of those beautiful moments that I mentioned. I am taking Taxol and Avastin on a three week cycle. I had gone off of the taxol for 6 weeks and my cancer went out of remission. There was a pretty significant swelling in my right chest wall. I've gone through two cycles of chemo this go round and the swelling is still there. It has gone down but not gone away. There is a deep stabbing pain my lungs. My lungs have mets as well. The fluid hasn't gone away. It is always there, even though the amount is less. However, the chemo causes a side affect of causing pain my back. So, I get the double whammy of side affects and lung pain. YAY! The point I am trying to get to is that just as I knew I was no longer in remission, I also feel certain that the cancer isn't going away and this chemo is no longer working. It is in the back of my mind often. Some days are just rougher than others. I'll have to wait for the next PET scan to confirm that. But my tumor markers are up so I sense a disturbance in the force. So, these are the thoughts and emotions I am navigating right now. Fun times. (sarcasm) Thanks for stopping by. I will try to be more joyful next time. Leslie

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