Xeloda Cycle 11 part two.

Hello my friends,

Let me begin by saying there is no video blog/vlog this week. I'm not sure what my problem is. I've sat down to film several times and ended up deleting what I had filmed. Intentionally deleting it I mean. I just found what I had to share with you to be negative and sarcastic. Now don't get me wrong, sarcasm is one of my best features, Haha! but I want to be as upbeat and positive as possible with you all. Especially if you too are going through cancer treatment. The last thing you need is to read about someone else's negative stuff. I will still be one hundred percent honest with you, I just want to be "glass half full" about it. Meaning I want to be optimistic. I just haven't been myself this week. My mood is a quiet and reflective one. Maybe that is why I have been having trouble talking to you to film a video.

It is in the back of my mind that the cancer is back. Or perhaps has spread. My right chest wall is swollen again and there is a nagging pain in my lower back. Since the oncologist confirmed that my tumor markers are going up again, these symptoms have been trying to get my attention. But I just can't live that way. I am trying not to worry about what my cells are doing between Pet scans, and tumor marker results. I try to just pay attention to what my body is telling me. It has never steered me wrong even when doctor have. I've always been able to sense when things are off in my body. I knew I had cancer even when the doctors where telling me that it was lupus or fibromyalgia. The thing I am trying to say is that, I am feeling a bit yuckier that I had been. My markers are up, it has been almost 6 months since my last Pet ( because I chose not to have it three months ago) and on this lower dose of Xeloda I am worried that it isn't as effective at preventing the spread of my disease. These are all normal worries and concerns. I try not to think this way though. Is there really anything I can accomplish or prevent by worrying anyway? NOPE! But these thoughts are still there. I am after all a human.

This is the second half of my xeloda cycle 11. One week on, one week off and then finish the cycle on week three. So, it is week three of the cycle. My hand and foot syndrome has improved. It is no longer awful to walk on my feet. Now it is only uncomfortable. Tolerable. My hands are very very dry and cracked. I am still plugging away and doing things that need to get done. My fatigue was a bit worse than usual today. So, I took a lot of breaks and read a bunch. I've been on a sort of reading spree lately. Here are a list of some of the books I particularly enjoyed.

John Green:

An abundance of Katherines
The Fault in our stars
Looking for Alaska
Paper towns

(Paper towns was amazingly funny and sad and took me right back to being a young adult.)

Robyn Schneider:

The beginning of everything

(Wow- what a great Book. Such a great first novel from this author. Very fresh and new plot style)

E. Lockhart:

We were Liars.

( I just finished this today, and the ending blew my mind. Just sayin.....)

So, that is what I've been reading during my Summer reading spree. The next book is going to be a recommendation from John Green in one of his recent vlogs. It is called Behind the beautiful forevers
I just downloaded it to my kindle. It is a bit intense looking, but I think it will be a great book.

Let me know in the comments down below what you are reading or what movies you are watching. I love to see your comments and hear what is going on in your lives.

That is it from here. Thanks for stopping by,

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